Cos breaking up is hard to do....
I hate to be the bearer of bad news but unfrotunately my girlfriend and myself are no more. It was a long distance thing and it was tough but due to the fact I couldn't see much of her, Ashley decided to terminate us as of yesterday...via facebook!
Now personally, I would have preferred it if she actually had the guts to ring me or even text me (I can't believe I'm saying that!) but that's the way it goes, then so be it.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hurt by this and to be honest she just didn't understand the fact that I was living on my own, not with my parents so I have to get things done on my weekends otherwise everything caves in. You could argue that I'm still adjusting to being on my own and I haven't found it easy. Thus I couldn't just drop anything to go and see her on a whim. It would be a 220 mile round trip and I don't have a car which could sustain prolonged periods of driving without blowing up! She still lives with her parents and has never lived away from home which is why I'm just ignoring the fact that she can't contemplate how tougher the world is when you're on your own.
The note she sent me was more like an essay, detailing all the points she didn't like about me, basically trying to make me feel guilty that she hadn't seen me. To put it in perspective, she doesn't have a job and thus no commitment to where she is and accusing me of not having time to see her is just puerile. I would if I could, but that just wasn't feasible.
Well anyways, I gave it a lot of thought last night and to avoid the inevitable hassle I decided to delete her from my facebook and myspace accounts. This is the way I've decided to walk away and to reiterate, it was her idea for us to go our separate ways.
What I wasn't expecting is an email, degrading my level of maturity for deleting her and of course the obligatory cheap shot of "I thought you were better than this, I guess I was wrong" was unneccesary. Surely an attack on my maturity is a bit rich coming from someone who unleashed an arsenal of insults upon my character and integrity is hardly someone who questions my maturity!
I think I've done the right thing by trying to achieve a clean break, after all xmas is round the corner and the last thing I need is an ex telling me what a loser I am. My question to all of you who have taken the time to read this is, is trying to get a clean break the mature thing to do? I think it is but I need to gauge other people's perspectives before I decide in my head whether I've been a numpty about this.
Thanks again,
Liam
Now personally, I would have preferred it if she actually had the guts to ring me or even text me (I can't believe I'm saying that!) but that's the way it goes, then so be it.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hurt by this and to be honest she just didn't understand the fact that I was living on my own, not with my parents so I have to get things done on my weekends otherwise everything caves in. You could argue that I'm still adjusting to being on my own and I haven't found it easy. Thus I couldn't just drop anything to go and see her on a whim. It would be a 220 mile round trip and I don't have a car which could sustain prolonged periods of driving without blowing up! She still lives with her parents and has never lived away from home which is why I'm just ignoring the fact that she can't contemplate how tougher the world is when you're on your own.
The note she sent me was more like an essay, detailing all the points she didn't like about me, basically trying to make me feel guilty that she hadn't seen me. To put it in perspective, she doesn't have a job and thus no commitment to where she is and accusing me of not having time to see her is just puerile. I would if I could, but that just wasn't feasible.
Well anyways, I gave it a lot of thought last night and to avoid the inevitable hassle I decided to delete her from my facebook and myspace accounts. This is the way I've decided to walk away and to reiterate, it was her idea for us to go our separate ways.
What I wasn't expecting is an email, degrading my level of maturity for deleting her and of course the obligatory cheap shot of "I thought you were better than this, I guess I was wrong" was unneccesary. Surely an attack on my maturity is a bit rich coming from someone who unleashed an arsenal of insults upon my character and integrity is hardly someone who questions my maturity!
I think I've done the right thing by trying to achieve a clean break, after all xmas is round the corner and the last thing I need is an ex telling me what a loser I am. My question to all of you who have taken the time to read this is, is trying to get a clean break the mature thing to do? I think it is but I need to gauge other people's perspectives before I decide in my head whether I've been a numpty about this.
Thanks again,
Liam
6 Comments:
Hi Liam.
Long distant relationships,for whatever reason, can be,and are difficult to sustain.One or two of us on here can vouch for that,no names mentioned! However,they can also survive,given time,also effort,if that is what both people really want.
Getting back to your above question. I feel she may have been testing you.Her main gripe was the distance,and you unable to spend any time with her,suggests to me that she wanted you to put up more of a fight for the relationship. Instead you deleting her from various online sites,only helped to reinforce her feelings that you weren't ready to be more commited to her. Hence her arsenal of insults against you,she is probably feeling more hurt than anything else.
Liam,i'm not for one minute taking her side in any way mate,i'm just assuming that this is what she is feeling.
As for your reaction to her well,all i can say is,you have to do what you feel is right for you,and if making a clean break from the relationship feels ok to you,then move on.
You have a had a difficult time this year Liam,reading your other posts etc,you have had alot of hurt from girlfriends and friends too,but i think you have come out of it a stronger person!
If you feel happy in the choices you have made,then so be it.
As for being a numpty....who isn't from time to time? LOL
Good Luck Liam. We only have one crack at this life,enjoy it mate!
Chloe. XX
By E1virA, Dec 12 07 7:06 AM
By pebbles14, Dec 12 07 1:35 PM
liam I read your blog this afternoon, then took the dog for a walk and had a think as to what i could say that wouldn't sound cliched.
Chloe is right about long distance relationships being hard and often tested and i'm really sorry you and your girl have split especially at this time of year.
As regards your deleting of her details, sometimes these things are done as a knee jerk reaction, and done out of anger and haste, but on the other hand if you can't make contact with her by not having her number etc then you can't actually send anything to initiate any nasty arguements.
You never know things may work out, if its meant to be its meant to be and that would be great. If on the other hand it doesn't then it is her loss and it is time to move on.... New year, new start...On the lighter side at least you didn't have to buy her a christmas pressie...
hope you are okay ... helen x
By pebbles14, Dec 12 07 1:43 PM
I have a friend here at college that is going through close to the same thing. Only his girlfriend dispises him trying to get a highier education. She point blank told him that what ever happens happens in life and she doesn't care whether she gets a good job or a job at all. I think maybe the quick reponse to deleteing her as fast as you had may have been a little out of anger but she hurt and sometimes the quicker you move on with life the better. Just becareful.
Take care, Brittany
By gonehorsey101, Dec 12 07 2:11 PM
The immature comment, if that ain't the pot calling the kettle black. Seems to me like she's a selfish, immature little thing. She'll be on her own sometime and I hope, when she's trying to get stuff done and balance other people, she'll remember what she said to you. Have fun while you can.
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By linkinparksid, Dec 28 07 12:51 PM