Ever had heartburn? 

 So, it isn’t pleasant, but not usually a major inconvenience either, unless you have it continually, and the medications don’t exactly work.  Consequently, I opted for a  fundoplication.  A what?  If you are interested or want to see a picture, try this link:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fundoplication . 

 Basically, the top of my stomach is now tightly wrapped around the esophagus, and no stomach acid comes back up into the esophagus – woohoo!  No more heartburn!  On the other hand, it’s also pretty tough to get stuff down. 

 My diet now consists of mush, meal replacement drinks, things that come out of blenders, and things that crumble into the tiniest pieces or dissolve.  How would I describe eating now?  It’s like trying to get food through an opening the size of small straw.  Bread especially doesn’t fit through, and though the wrap will loosen up over the next several weeks and months,  I will likely never eat bread the way I used to.   My current staples include creamy whipped potatoes, cream cheese, rice crackers, applesauce, puréed cream of tomato and spinach soup, and meal replacement drinks.

 I successfully ate a piece of pizza the other day, but whether you can really call it “a piece” of pizza or successful is debateable.  It was 1 inch by 2 inches, thin crust, and it took me 50 minutes to eat it in the tiniest bites that were the most well-chewed bites imaginable, but I ate it!  After 2 weeks of mush, it was the best piece of pizza of my life! 

 Anyone who has had this surgery knows the excruciating agony of swallowing something too large to get into the stomach.   I suspect that it is not exactly a pleasant spectacle for on-lookers to behold either.   Ideally, food is supposed to leave the mouth, enter the esophagus at the top, then proceed without incident to the stomach.  If the food, however, can not get into the stomach because the hole at the top of the stomach is not large enough for the food to pass through, the food doesn’t really know where to go, and the esophagus is really not happy with food just hanging out there, and, consequently, the esophagus lets us know that is it not happy with the situation, and, oh, does it ever let us know!  Eventually (hopefully) the food somehow either finds its way painfully through the tiny hole at the top of the stomach or comes back to the mouth.  At this point in my life, one big gulp of orange juice is too large to swallow! Alas, I fear my beer-chugging days are over.  (Well, actually they were over about 20 years ago when I could no longer see the point in guzzling beers. )

 Other effects of the surgery?  I will likely never vomit again so I guess I will never become a successful bulimic.   I have been very lucky to get up what I think might be a few tiny burps, though.

 It is now 2 weeks after my surgery.    A most welcome side effect has been the loss of 10 pounds, and I won’t start to complain until another 15 pounds puts me at my pre-motherhood weight, but my weight-loss likely won’t get that far, lol.

  I will always have to take small bites and chew my food well.  I will never be able to take a large bite of fresh-baked bread.   I will always likely have some degree of swallowing difficulty.  I will never vomit again.  I spent 3 days in hospital, and couldn’t move without pain for several more days.  Do I have regrets about having the surgery?  Not at all!  It is worth every bit of the inconvenience not to be troubled with heartburn again!