Well I'm still here. I finally got round to going to the library today but guess what, it closes at lunchtime on Fridays. I knew it closed on Wednesday but I suppose considering an earlier government policy we're lucky to have any at all. Having got as far as Kenton with no more than a camera I headed for some green space and ended up on Stanmore Common where I took some nice pictures of the pond (in today's forum). Working tomorrow afternoon and the rest is a mystery. But a week ago I was in a similar position and by Monday evening when I'd totally run out of material and was little on TV the latest sign turned up. I am now hoping the next items I need turn up one by one the same way as the signs have, as if one area can be covered so thoroughly (if you look at a map of London and randomly scatter about 20 on literally any old road you like) that is what I've been up against. Direction signs are nearly all on main roads but the others are not. So each one found is like dropping your pearls out of a helicopter and then looking on the ground for them.

I do plan to go to bed a little earlier tonight so I don't have to rush tomorrow, but blogs are my form of conversation with no actual people here. Having no cat/s around does mean food and papers can be left unattended with no chance they will be gone or used as litter boxes when I return, but other than that one small hazard just over a year ago I would at least have had a cat sitting on the desk opposite me now, and following me up to bed. She slept on me sometimes and woke me up at all hours scratching and washing herself but maybe that's not so different from being married. One day another will turn up somehow.

So next week is only just coming into view, it was too hot for any gardening this week so have to catch up, and just borrowed more hedgecutters although they have a different plug from mine and may not have any way to connect them. I'll probably make it to the library again and that's all I know. There are also barely any other signs left for 50 miles unless there's a great surprise, but if I've got most of them then at least I can stop running around all the time. I've got some more publicity work to do as well, although there are only a few local papers now as they are all owned by the same people so as they've all ignored all previous attempts may be on the ignore list. But one's very near me and I may just turn up and try and work on them in person. I expect the unions would also be up in arms as I work free, but unless you're an established journalist it's the only way I'd get anyone to take me on. And how on earth does anyone think they should get paid for writing? If I was I'd be a multi millionaire by now, and that's without doing any actual work.

Let's see how deep I can go today without testing anyone's patience. I know there are many people who have read Yogananda's book  Autobiography of a Yogi. It basically suggests we are all able to manipulate the world with our mind and our karma dictates everything that happens to us. Having seen the same things happening in my own life until they go away and replaced by others what I read 10 or more years ago is starting to become recognisable now as reality. Now we have to face our fears, the biggest being of course death. Now I don't know about you but in 49 years I've managed to avoid death threats, and then have two in less than a week. Not the sort of nonsense from 2000 miles away from some kid on drugs, but from real local people who know where I live and are free to follow it up. Now whether they try is debatable but short of get a 24 hour police guard (look how it helped Benazir Bhutto) I just have to carry on and leave it alone. One person I suspect I only have an area and website, the other a name and phone number. I expect if they took it seriously it could be traced for each but I actually believe even if someone doesn't mind being caught (one is a possibly psychopathic schizophrenic) it's not so easy to choose a victim and wipe them out just like that. Possible of course but hopefully in his case his illness will change him as much in a day as it does in a minute. He was reasonably OK when I met him but took a standard downhill path and presumably whatever medications he was on are no longer being taken.

So I may be set to challenge every fear and I can't really see much beyond this ultimate level, and after the initial shock and then again when it was repeated within a few days by someone else, I let it go and passed beyond it. We can't control the large and small details of most of our time so just deal with what we can in the present and that's the best we can do. Meanwhile the huge supply of spiritual teaching online is growing, and I think whether people are advanced or not for this one is irrelevant as it actually works full stop. Close your eyes and ask or get someone else to ask who you are before you think about it. Are you male or female? In a body or out of one etc. Before you think do you know? If no one told you would you ever have worked it out? This is from Sri Nisargadatta but within a week heard another teacher say exactly the same thing. They can't all be messing around as you can all have a direct experience of it.

So life here is still pretty normal in reality, as I'm still here and have very little I can do to avoid whatever is coming my way, good or bad. On the plus side the council just told me they were fixing the old sign themselves within a month. That is pretty amazing and the new photo should look pretty good if done. Our old information signs were on a standard font and black capitals on white with varying borders. Everything was spelt out plus optional pictures and arrows where relevant. One way street. Turn left One way only etc. These stopped being made in 1963 and thank god after I forgot they were obsolete as so many lasted well into the 80s they were suddenly nearly all gone and it was my personal duty to get a photo of every last type. Well on Monday the small list remaining got the turn left only one as I said, only 10 miles south east of here, and now only a few remaining unless I travel 50, 100 and 200 miles, if they are even still there. But in life we only need to complete a few collections fully (I think the partner department is probably the most important) and getting the last dual carriageway sign in Britain (known) in Liverpool is not worth driving 440 miles for. Mad maybe, stupid, I hope not...

I may as well mention Big Brother as a member has observed the same as I have most of my life. When someone intelligent speaks to someone who isn't they are often accused of talking rubbish. That can also be extended to too deep or taking life too seriously. Sadly with mob rule it's easy to think the view of the majority (ie average) must be right because there are more of them. So instead we have to aim for a niche audience of people and places that may actually understand and appreciate us, and realise the majority of the pyramid of humanity has no interest in what we are saying or thinking about. The best accusation I get periodically is 'you think too much'. Now apart from being incorrect technically at every possible level it implies a total contempt for doing any more than accepting everything that happens in life at face value. If that was a virtue then Einstein, Freud etc would all be working in chip shops or timber yards as not a person on earth could find a use for their active (well, overactive if you follow the metaphor) minds.

Luckily no one can earn a PhD or similar accolade without being 'too serious' or philosophical, but no doubt most people would wrap their chips in it or line the cat's litter tray with is as 'it's a load of imtellectual rubbish'. The fact their computers, telephones, operations, TV and films etc are all created by such poindexters and geeks seems to go beyond them. They may not want to actually listen to the tedious dreck they believe these boffins speak in what they consider should be 'normal conversations' (see Big Brother for examples again) but very happy to enjoy the fruits of their labour. Just a typical human paradox but one we should never let bother us as otherwise we can end up like one of the biggest brains on earth, Ben Elton, who prostituted himself, first on TV with the Thin Blue Line, and then finally sold out (for millions) with the execrable Mamma Mia. Sure the guy's probably going to get his pension at 50 but after seeing what he was capable of in the 80s he's gone fully 100% downmarket simply for his financial security 'to please the majority'. Now you don't see Woody Allen, a similar mind, stooping to such levels. He would rather make a film a year and see many never released outside his own country as so obscure than make a chick flick about a band that broke up in the 70s. At least David Baddiel has stayed true to his Cambridge double first roots and support for Chelsea. No conquering the States or writing hit musicals for him, but he does what he is best at.

So I can make no apologies for being too deep here or anywhere else as unless I have part of my brain removed or destroyed I'm not saving part of it to be popular. You can't do it in exams so why in normal life? So the moral here is I save it for you poor lot here as it's one of the few places I know online where it's appreciated. By some anyway... 

It's funny how random my discoveries can be. I've always been an explorer and learnt long ago there's interesting stuff everywhere including our own doorsteps. What's far away for one is near for another and in my attempts to find signs knew the best few were on the ends of the two roads I lived for most of my life and never took in 45 years. What a shmo. Anyway, today was the hottest of the year and last week I stumbled across the sign to the local Jewish cemetery which was filled long ago, with 'new arrivals' going outside London to what were fields. My great grandma is there (I knew her husband although he died when I was 2) plus an interesting sign in the car park so rather than find out the plot went for a walk around there in case. Of course it's impossible to go to a local Jewish cemetery (if you're Jewish that is) without finding many familiar names. Geraldo the bandleader (and my grandpa's one time boss) is right by the entrance, and my mother's colleague Greville Janner's father, the lord. Or maybe his brother? I didn't find great grandma (not sure where g-grandpa is yet as normally couples are together) but wasn't there primarily to do so as can go back any time. Then my father told me there was a small one opposite where his friend was buried so I had a look but it was a church and they were in the process of digging it up so didn't make any more enquiries. Reform Jewish synagogues often rent areas of other cemeteries but if it was there I couldn't see it today.

My friend in Australia (never met but spoken on the phone) was born and brought up in Harlesden so got to know me as I was one of a few people taking photos of it as it is today and all his old haunts were there. Many of his family are in the small cemetery and he worked for people and knew them where the other one was. It surprises me how many expats love to see the old places but rarely come back to live there. Missing them when away for a few weeks told me how much I appreciate what I know to include lousy areas, but being home are home first and lousy second to me.

Then having done the accounts in record time was given 10 days to make the final accounts which I do annually (if it's my turn) and forget how within a few weeks. It's complicated and involves reprogramming everything which it somehow also forgets a year later when half or more of the figures are missing. It is as if there is a devil up there laughing at me when I have too much free time. I've got a visitor and work later tomorrow and free the rest of the day so far, and no shortage of obligations for a few days ahead. But the week started well as once I'd run out of material the person who pointed me to Lambeth last Monday when I was already south of the river (as if he knew) found exactly the next sign I needed on my list in Shoreditch which is best approached at night when the roads can be clear (as they were). The rarity of these is incredible, maybe a few in Britain, and they keep popping up in ones and twos filling some gaps I thought I'd never fill till then. I'm not so desperate (I was 20 years ago as that much fitter) to go 100 miles to get them, or 50, as I could have done and then found one 10 miles away as I did, albeit not in such good condition but completely legible.

I did remember going about 100 miles some years ago to Studland to get some used boat tickets from the depot as they still used the old style. And I discovered the boat to Brownsea Island that left from the same point in Sandbanks doesn't run till May 1st and I went the day before. And I did then go to the Isle of Wight for more train tickets that ended up there in the museum shop. We went on a Sunday, the whole place was closed and the next bus back was 2 hours later and had to cadge a lift from one of the staff who was just leaving the office. I went back by car, paid over £40 and bought nearly all the left over stock (for about £5!) when it was open. As that was before digital cameras existed my souvenirs were always train (or boat) tickets unless there was a reason to bring the camera with me as well. I went to places with interesting art deco buildings and straight roads on the south coast next, and prizewinning housing from my architecture books of the 1960s. And the trip to Meopham in Kent to get a huge collection of private bus tickets from the owners of the routes where my car key broke and used the 3 hours waiting in the station car park for the locksmith started writing the first essay in my professional course I'd been putting off for weeks. I'd done 7 pages by the time he turned up so somehow that little setback started me off on a very important course which I'd done the worst of by the time I'd got home. OK it's never actually got me the job I expected it to but has got me plenty of clients who had to be seen by someone qualified.

So the theme (yes there is one) today is apparent randomness that leads us to something we couldn't have planned. I never planned to visit Willesden cemetery, St Mary's cemetery (see today's photo a day to see it), and if you look around all the hidden corners where you are you'll always find surprises.

I love the chances to do colour combinbations here, it's the sort of thing I've always done and just have to consider legibility as Lesley discovered... Well it's time for the practical philosophy today. Although my recent achievements have been at times beyond what I expected with the signs and then the increased business load, when it stops I'm still left with a space. The sign quest has almost finished as areas have been covered, most gaps have been filled and I'm happy with the collection. The articles I started can now be both finished and probably merged, and this time saved for the magazine who considered looking at them next year, although they are spiritual and the articles are on personal development. But there are other places I can try if not.

After running around yesterday I was happy to have a day off besides the usual trip to the gym and do my sign searches on Google. I found one that had been removed as they kept the stripy pole (pre 1963 only) but put a new 5mph sign on. You could see the gap where the old one had been but lucky I have 4 already as shown here. And now it's a mystery. So far the guidance has mainly found the signs for me but of course guidance covers everything so hope I get some direction now so I don't waste the free time I have ahead. And more gardening of course, as I can borrow hedge cutters before I get new ones.

Well the challenge has been set. My mind is a blank and will have to watch this blog for the next week or two to see if anything fills it.